Human~

Assalamua'laikum wbt. & good day,

I am writing again in less than two months’ time. As usual, I always found my remedy through writing. I always hope by articulating all the feelings that I have at current moment into a structured piece of mind, everything will be okay. After all, I always convince myself that this too, shall pass.

I started to realize that sometimes, the heart broken that we had is not necessarily because we did not get what we want. We feel deeply demotivated because of the process, and sometimes we discovered that someone had play the games behind the door in order to stop the opportunity that we supposed to get; although in reality, the moment we officially receive the offer, we might decline it due to several factors. This kind of situation brought us down, and we started to overthink on many bad things that this person could do. As a human being, we severely impacted by the experience that we had, and the experience we had will shape the belief. Like it or not, the action that we take is mostly depending on the belief that we had embedded inside us; be it a truthful one or otherwise.

Batam Miniature House, Indonesia

In my previous post, I did mentioned the story on why I decided to take my sabbatical. With the hope that everything is already fine, I started to gain my motivation back upon resume my duty. But somehow, few incidents happened and the recent one really brings me down. Somehow, it triggers me to think how shameful it is for someone at upper level, with SIX level gaps by organizational hierarchy, still want to stop my career opportunity for exposure to another strategic project. I just cannot brain that someone at upper level unconsciously bring down his own standard by creating a conflict with someone below him, which I think if I were at his place, I will not be doing so because someone lower than me is definitely not my league.  

I am fortunate because I got few colleagues who turned up to be #myexclusivecircle; giving wonderful advice and motivations for me to hold on and be resilient. I still hold closely to one of the advice from one of the managers that I met during my downtime; perhaps, this is actually what had been destined for you, and that person is just the asbab (means). In fact, Allah is never neither a second earlier nor a second too late. Enabling myself to look at this kind of positive angle always makes me feel relief, although that feeling may not be permanent. Again, a cliché reason is I am only human, and I break when I fall down.

The recent situation that I faced makes me try to connect with the book that I currently read, How Will You Measure Your Life. In one of the chapters, The School of Experiences, it did mentioned that “people who hit their first significant career roadblock after years of nonstop achievement often fall apart”. I am trying my best to strengthen my belief that this chapter of falling apart experience has something to teach me, and the outcomes will only be reap somewhere in future that only Allah knows when.

The only prayer that I have for myself is not to get crazy or affected with any mental health related illness as I strongly believe that THIS TOO, SHALL PASS.

Kapas Island, Marang, Terengganu

Till then, have a nice day. Wassalam~