Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Memory: How Adolescent Years Impact Our Life

Assalamua'laikum wbt & Good Day,

This year marked my 10th year leaving my high school. In spite of being thankful that I finally can face all the obstacles while I were in my adolescent years, I have to be honest that I still can't forget. You do not have to know either I have forgiven those who have marked a big hole inside my heart which sometimes make me traumatize when suddenly all the bad memories suddeny appeared in my mind.

Being a factual person, I must know every reason why somebody or someone want to deal with me; either it is a good deal or a bad one. Until today, I still could not find even a reason why those unscrupulous seniors did the terrorizing towards me. And of course, there are few others as well. And because of that, I still could not think of the reasons why there are some teachers who have been receiving a lot of complaints about the ragged issues did not take any actions during that moment. And that is the reason I did marked few teachers that I will never miss to see and meet again. 

Inside A Famosa Fort, Malacca.
Dear teachers, I am so sorry. 

It is still hard for me to let go everything; although 10 years passed by. 

That is how you have impacted my emotion until today; with your ignorance.

And of course, it is not all teachers. And of course, only few seniors are as bad as that. There are many good seniors as compared to the bad ones. Can you imagine when you were appointed for many times to represent your school to participate in any competitions and those seniors ragged you because you did not bought any souvenirs for them? And they are not giving you even a single penny to buy that things? Not to mention my other batchmate cases, whereby some of them were being ragged just because they are beautiful and got some relationship with so-called these unscrupulous seniors' adopted brothers. Come on! 

View of Malacca city from The Taming Sari Tower.
Yes. My high school was as bad as that during my first 3 years. It was lucky that my high school is now headed by one of the most inspiring teachers that I ever had! May Allah bless her eternally. 

I have to write this because I need to let go. Sometimes, when I accidentally meet those unscrupulous seniors, my heart beats fast; although it is high probability that most of them cannot recognize me anymore. Thanks to Allah, my parents and my homeroom advisor, they are my strength, those who inspired me to not abuse anyone and not to do the same thing and any terrorization towards others; until today.

Life is definitely like a wheel. Sometimes, you are on top, but sometimes, otherwise happens. A do'a or prayer from a person being abused will be answered by The Almighty. When I met few of my good seniors who are the same batch as those unscrupulous ones, I can't avoid to say Thanks God when knowing about their bad fortune. I am a human, and of course to forgive people who had treat me badly, worse than my parents did (of course they will never do) really need quite a long time. Now I strongly believe that times taken to heal are definitely long. Incredibly long!

View of the traffic condition at Malacca city from The Taming Sari Tower.
It was happened that I met one of my male seniors who also have to move out from my high school because he was being ragged and terrorized by his seniors. I thought I am the only one who still cannot let things go freely; but he also did not. Yes, the memory of being abused definitely impact our life until today. 

Dear teachers all over the world, 

Please. Never ignore any complaints by your students who claimed that they are being abused. We suffer emotionally until today. Yes, people may perceive us as being strong and still cannot let things go, but they never know how much the strength that we need to have in order to keep the pain deep down inside our heart.

And like my case, one of these unscrupulous seniors will be joining my big family members. You should know what it means.

And I believe, Allah is testing my heart; how strong I am in order for me to forgive.

Have a nice day :)

Wassalam.


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